E3 might not be happening in LA this year, but that shouldn't stop Ubisoft delivering what's become one of the highlights of the season - 60 minutes of camp charm and maybe even some game reveals too.
Our live coverage of this event has finished.
*taps mic*
– Martin Robinson
*clears throat*
– Martin Robinson
Hello, good evening and welcome to Ubisoft's 2021 E3 show!
– Martin Robinson
Now excuse me while I set up my screens (and figure out how to get the iPlayer up and running out here so I can sneakily have the Belgium v Russia game on as well).
– Martin Robinson
(and also thank heavens Christian Eriksen is okay after those terrifying scenes earlier).
– Martin Robinson
But we're not here for football! We're here for video games!
– Martin Robinson
What to expect tonight?
– Martin Robinson
Well, it's mostly leaked already, but to keep things spicy I won't post any spoilers here.
– Martin Robinson
Though allow me a small 'lol' at the fact that Nintendo itself was one of those who leaked one of the games.
– Martin Robinson
I do believe there is still room for a few more surprises, though.
– Martin Robinson
And I'm not saying that just to keep you here for the next hour!
– Martin Robinson
Though the company would be nice as I slowly slip into madness and the kind of low-key drunk that happens while sipping this beer I just poured after a day spent out in the sun.
– Martin Robinson
If past years are anything to go by it'll be the opener - and I really hope it is as it's always upbeat and nutty.
– Martin Robinson
That's the weird thing about Ubisoft's E3 conferences - I'm not a big player of their games at all, and yet I'm a massive fan of their conferences.
– Martin Robinson
They typically do a wonderful job of capturing so much of what's brilliant about video games.
– Martin Robinson
I hope I'm not giving this the commentator's curse and what follows is an hour of neckstabbing and moody swears.
– Martin Robinson
Absolutely not - that was when Ubi's conferences peaked!
– Martin Robinson
Though you could also argue that was the Mr. Caffeine year.
– Martin Robinson
I was there for the birth of my daughter, I've got to see my team lift the FA Cup, stand under the podium as the motorsport outfit I love the most take Le Mans after years of trying, and yet when I'm on my deathbed I will lean forward and proudly proclaim 'I was there for that Mr. Caffeine year at E3'.
– Martin Robinson
God it was brilliant.
– Martin Robinson
The kind of thing that's not really possible away from a live E3.
– Martin Robinson
I should probably start watching the stream tbh.
– Martin Robinson
Just over an hour, I believe.
– Martin Robinson
And here we go!
– Martin Robinson
We have presenters!
– Martin Robinson
And they're a smartly turned-out, professional pair. I fear they are too good to start making jokes about 'poop on your toothpaste'.
– Martin Robinson
All these years later I still have no idea what he was on about.
– Martin Robinson
But I digress!
– Martin Robinson
Here we have freshly retitled Rainbow Six: Extraction.
– Martin Robinson
You can't say that anymore!
– Martin Robinson
I do understand the reasoning though. Given all that's happened the past year it'd be about as popular a title as Rainbow Six: Poking a Swab in Your Gob Until You Really Start to Gag.
– Martin Robinson
I have to say though.
– Martin Robinson
Having gotten excited about a Just Dance opener.
– Martin Robinson
A CG trailer for a zombie shooter is possibly the most disappointing thing possible.
– Martin Robinson
Thanks Ubi!
– Martin Robinson
Well that was a complete waste of everyone's time.
– Martin Robinson
Kami: ... I... I did say I wanted a new Zombi... but not like this. Not like this...
This is all your fault.
– Martin Robinson
Given how tight the mechanics are in R6: Siege I've still got plenty of hope for this.
– Martin Robinson
I am not so much of a fan of this painfully scripted, overly long presentation.
– Martin Robinson
Perhaps? It's weirdly po-faced and drawn out.
– Martin Robinson
I presume this is because this is Ubi's big best this year and they are going all in on it.
– Martin Robinson
Which is fair enough.
– Martin Robinson
The end result is after ten minutes of pre-amble we are finally getting to see the game in action.
– Martin Robinson
Like Siege, the probe plays a big part - it's all about planning and execution, like a real-time XCOM.
– Martin Robinson
I'm hoping 60fps is a given on current gen!
– Martin Robinson
We have just been asking ourselves that...
– Martin Robinson
I think you might be on to something there!
– Martin Robinson
Is Belgium Russia any good?
– Martin Robinson
Well, I really did condemn us all with my hype earlier didn't I?
– Martin Robinson
Even I couldn't have imagined something as dreary as this.
– Martin Robinson
That's one brilliant thing they have done.
– Martin Robinson
Those comment sections are cesspools.
– Martin Robinson
Unlike our lovely comments here, of course.
– Martin Robinson
(Honestly, thank you so much for joining me here tonight - it's always lovely to watch these alongside all of you).
– Martin Robinson
Well that's a decent looking video game but I don't think it quite necessitated that.
– Martin Robinson
Here's that new Rocksmith that leaked earlier by Gibson!
– Martin Robinson
Like a lot of others, I'm sure, my midlife crisis has been accelerated by the pandemic and I spent a lot of the last year fiddling around with guitars.
– Martin Robinson
So I'd be quite keen to have a crack at a new generation of Rocksmith - it always seemed like a fun and useful thing.
– Martin Robinson
blarts: My 31 guitars are willing to accept this challenge
OMG I DEMAND A LIST OF THEM!
– Martin Robinson
Rocksmith +, coming from Ubisoft San Francisco.
– Martin Robinson
You can use your phone as a mic now - I presume bypassing the interface of old?
– Martin Robinson
Indeed that is the case.
– Martin Robinson
Kami: I have a vintage Ukelele and an old 90's keyboard. One of the massive ones. I like playing it every so often.
That's all you need for a killer band tbh.
– Martin Robinson
The Rocksmith+ beta is on its way. And that looks like fun!
– Martin Robinson
Now its on to Steep follow-up Riders Republic.
– Martin Robinson
I hope it's alright to say that we'll have a bit more on this later on tonight on the site - it looks incredible and I'm really hoping it catches on in the way that Steep sadly never could.
– Martin Robinson
Don't they just! I feel bad for being miserable about them sometimes when the truth is they're often bloody astounding these days.
– Martin Robinson
I don't believe that was ever properly cancelled. Maybe it's waiting for Switch Pro!
– Martin Robinson
Or maybe not...
– Martin Robinson
blarts: For Martin, Gibson ES335 and Les Paul, Fender Strat, Telecaster, Coronado and Hellcat,,3 Grestch, a 2008 Signature Porl Thompson (The Cure) Schecter Corsair, 6 epiphones, 5 Squier, Vintage 12 String, Hagstrom Viking, a Jackson, and a few more dotted about
This makes me feel better about my collection. Also a Coronado is my dream guitar atm. That's an amazing haul!
– Martin Robinson
Anyway back to Riders Republic - there's a lot to love here, with a bustling Ubi open world pieced together by some off-the-wall takes on extreme sports.
– Martin Robinson
AquinasBatman: Thank you, x201.
As bearer of bad news, however, I'm holding you responsible
Thanks for being the one to tell them... I didn't have the heart.
– Martin Robinson
I totally forgot it's coming out in 2021 - September 2nd, to be precise.
– Martin Robinson
So there will be some fun games to play this year!
– Martin Robinson
A quick update on Siege, and time for me to feel guilty again for not checking in on Siege for a while.
– Martin Robinson
It's very bloody tense isn't it?
– Martin Robinson
Crossplay is coming to cloud platforms this year, and to consoles next year - which is of course welcome news.
– Martin Robinson
That's your progression shared across all plaftforms too. It really is time for me to start playing this again isn't it?
– Martin Robinson
Well, it's not a gameplay trailer exactly - I will excuse a stylish cartoon trailer like the one we're getting now for Rainbow Six Siege and....
– Martin Robinson
I was going to say a new operator but I won't pretend I know that for sure.
– Martin Robinson
The pacing is not great, for sure.
– Martin Robinson
Well there you have it a new operator.
– Martin Robinson
Is that a compliment?
– Martin Robinson
It sounds to me like a pretty awesome compliment.
– Martin Robinson
Oh no it's another game I really like and have lost track of - Trackmania, funnily enough, which has some nice look ing new DLC.
– Martin Robinson
As does The Crew 2 (like that one) Brawlhalla (never played it - sorry) Watch Dogs: Legion (accents lol) and For Honor.
– Martin Robinson
Live service games everyone!
– Martin Robinson
I feel ashamed for not playing more of them.
– Martin Robinson
AquinasBatman: checked stream at odd time. Footage of Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles followed immediately by a logo for 'Crew 2'
Would play that crossover.
– Martin Robinson
YES!
– Martin Robinson
It's what we actually genuinely I'm not even being sarcastic here all came for!
– Martin Robinson
JUST DANCE!
– Martin Robinson
This has honestly woken me right up.
– Martin Robinson
Ru Paul choreographer Todrick Hall is stepping up for this new Just Dance.
– Martin Robinson
Please give Just Dance as much time if not more than you gave Rainbow Six Ubisoft.
– Martin Robinson
Forge002: Yeah at this stage i much pefer listening to Lee Dixon
I would also take Lee Dixon appearing in Ru Paul Drag Race.
– Martin Robinson
Forge002: Yeah at this stage i much pefer listening to Lee Dixon
I would also take Lee Dixon appearing in Ru Paul Drag Race.
– Martin Robinson
That's Just Dance 2022, anyway.
– Martin Robinson
Malek86: No Wii version this time, goodnight champ
RIP
– Martin Robinson
Tekken and Gran Turismo used to be our go-tos with our old dance mat.
– Martin Robinson
Valhalla now!
– Martin Robinson
A game that everyone here loves, but one that I know I'll never have the time to play.
– Martin Robinson
Aye - you have one arse cheek steering left, one steering right, then you use your feet to accelerate or brake.
– Martin Robinson
It's called Groin Turismo.
– Martin Robinson
AquinasBatman: Mr Robinson seek medical help
I'm ringing them right now!
– Martin Robinson
Anyway back to Valhalla!
– Martin Robinson
There's a new Discovery Tour coming this autumn - which always sounds so very appealing to me, as it's a chance to explore the world without the game getting in the way.
– Martin Robinson
Valhalla is also getting a second year of DLC.
– Martin Robinson
A pivot to television - Mythic Quest, which I passed on after a handful of episodes but which I'm reliably informed gets a lot, lot better and actually becomes quite brilliant.
– Martin Robinson
Ah so now I'm feeling bad about not watching TV series as well as not playing video games.
– Martin Robinson
I'm a huge fan of Sam Richardson so will probably watch this bizarre werewolf sitcom.
– Martin Robinson
But yes, that does feel odd sitting here in this E3 conference. Convergence, ey?
– Martin Robinson
(Is the Belgium Russia game still any good?)
– Martin Robinson
INSOMANiAC: I just watched 'Nodlbody' and it's basically John Air Wick. John Wick meets the A Team. It's pretty pretty good.
Getting on this as soon as possible!
– Martin Robinson
My attention perhaps drifted.
– Martin Robinson
But I had no idea what this was for the last few minutes.
– Martin Robinson
Why is everyone so serious?
– Martin Robinson
That's all our dear Ian Higton wants as well.
– Martin Robinson
I'm not sure who plays these games for this kind of drama.
– Martin Robinson
Maybe it makes sense in context!
– Martin Robinson
slowdog1976: that would be me martin
Hello! I think I'm just an impatient idiot!
– Martin Robinson
This twisted take on Far Cry does look brilliantly unhinged, mind.
– Martin Robinson
And a tease of the return of Blood Dragon?
– Martin Robinson
Or simply a re-release/remaster!
– Martin Robinson
Okay, that did win me over.
– Martin Robinson
And now, could you please look surprised as the new Mario + Rabbids game is unveiled.
– Martin Robinson
If you weren't aware Nintendo leaked this earlier.
– Martin Robinson
Yes, that Nintendo.
– Martin Robinson
And they did so by simply publishing the game details - screenshots and all - on its own website.
– Martin Robinson
That's the sort of E3 drama I live for.
– Martin Robinson
Indeed!
– Martin Robinson
Well, after the look at the unhinged post-launch plans for Far Cry 6, it makes sense that we segue into the fever dream of this crossover.
– Martin Robinson
Sparks of Hope be its name.
– Martin Robinson
In keeping with the format of the evening, we're getting a quick interview with the developers after that CGI reveal, before we move into the gameplay itself a bit later.
– Martin Robinson
Miyamotosan: This better not be the closer
I think it may well be!
– Martin Robinson
I could be wrong, though.
– Martin Robinson
I'm wrong about most things, and have been about pretty much everything tonight.
– Martin Robinson
Deadman316: What’s Sparks of Hoorp?
It's a typo that our CMS will no longer let me edit out. *sadface*
– Martin Robinson
Oh I thought you were dissing my spelling. As you were!
– Martin Robinson
I'm in awe of how crisply pressed his shirt is.
– Martin Robinson
You could cut your fingers on that collar.
– Martin Robinson
It would be the sweetest revenge.
– Martin Robinson
Tell you what, though.
– Martin Robinson
This looks bloody good and very technically impressive given it's running on a Switch.
– Martin Robinson
It is for Switch, right?
– Martin Robinson
Interestingly I didn't see a platform announced for that...
– Martin Robinson
Anyway, as you were! Here's a final surprise from Yvvvveessss.
– Martin Robinson
Here we go!
– Martin Robinson
Oh it's Avatar.
– Martin Robinson
A lovely surprise!
– Martin Robinson
As is the reminder that more Avatar movies are somehow being made.
– Martin Robinson
That will happen when you're the highest grossing film of all-time, of course.
– Martin Robinson
Doesn't mean it isn't a piece of vapid shit.
– Martin Robinson
What it is certainly, though, is very pretty.
– Martin Robinson
And this looks absolutely breathtaking.
– Martin Robinson
Avatar was probably better off as a video game anyway - this looks like proof of that.
– Martin Robinson
Avatar Frontiers of Pandora, coming in 2022.
– Martin Robinson
Wasn't it just?
– Martin Robinson
An odd one, but a staggeringly beautiful one.
– Martin Robinson
And while that was protracted beyond all reason, there was still plenty to find cheer in there.
– Martin Robinson
Also that was probably first look at a game running on the new Switch so I'll take that.
– Martin Robinson
Devolver is later! I won't be joining live, I'm afraid, as I'm old and need a liedown, but I will be back at 6pm tomorrow for Microsoft. Hope to see some of you back here then - and thanks for joining me tonight!