Buy a real Companion Cube
Weighted for your affection.
Valve has said it will be selling a real life cuddly Weighted Companion Cube in its store soon.
A sneak peak of the loveable block appeared on Steam last Friday, although no price was mentioned and it was listed only as "coming soon".
You will also be able to snaffle up a pair of cubes to hang from your rear-view mirror in your car, presumably so that other motorists can honk affectionately at you as they zoom past.
The Weighted Companion Cube plays a starring role in puzzle game Portal, and forms a strong emotional attachment with you but doesn't speak whatever it says.
Portal joined Half-Life 2, Half-Life 2: Episode 1, Half-Life 2: Episode 2 and Team Fortress 2 in The Orange Box. If you have a 360, PS3 or PC and haven't already picked it up, then do so now.
Pop over to The Orange Box review if you want more coercing.