Emma's Adventures: Selling Valheim, a real-estate saga

Emma's Adventures is a monthly column exclusively for Eurogamer supporters, written by Emma Kent, who has an uncanny knack for finding strange adventures in games. You can support Eurogamer for £3/€3/$3 a month and gain access to a whole variety of things. Better yet, we're currently offering a free trial so you can get a month's subscription for nothing!

We're also doing something slightly different with this instalment. This adventure took such an unexpected turn, and became so much longer than originally envisaged, that we decided to make it into two pieces. We also decided to make part one available to everyone, to highlight the incredible work Emma does, while keeping part two for supporters only. Part two will go live this Saturday, 1st July.

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All player names have been changed for this article.

Over the past few weeks my evenings have, once again, been taken over by a new season of Selling Sunset. I just can't help myself - the real estate reality series is compulsive viewing. It's a strange old thing, because while I strongly disapprove of the extreme wealth gap required for these properties to exist, I'm also fascinated by the glamorous image of Hollywood living presented by the show. That and the underhanded cattiness between agents as they compete to sell houses. All while looking absolutely stunning, of course - I've been taking fashion notes for the year ahead.

Anyway, all this talk of listings and property development got me thinking about Valheim again. That may seem like a huge leap from luxury LA real estate but hear me out. Whenever I've explored the world of Valheim, I've felt a strong urge to renovate houses. That's because the game actively encourages you to do so: there are ruins all over the place and you can quickly patch these up to gain a foothold in a new environment. For this article, however, I wanted to take things a step further and see if I could create an actual business selling these homes to other resident Vikings. So I set about trying to establish a Viking real estate agency in Valheim.

Things got a lot closer to the drama of Selling Sunset than I had anticipated.

The first step was finding a multiplayer server on which I could conduct this experiment. Valheim doesn't have official servers, which meant I would have to wade through the lottery of community-hosted servers to find a good one. I settled on a light role-playing server based around the idea of a kingdom. It was a new server, which allowed me to keep up with other players' progress and offer houses at their level. Sensibly, the server also had a 'bronze age' cap on progress for two weeks to prevent anyone racing ahead.

As required by the server rules, I started a fresh character. I gave her bleach-blonde hair and braids (inspired by the elaborate hairdos of Selling Sunset's Heather Rae El Moussa), and named her Angelika Stace - a more rugged version of a typical LA estate agent name. And with that, I was ready to be taken on a server tour.

One of the things that had appealed to me about the server was its rigorous approvals process, which meant hooligans would be rooted out at an early stage. (Seriously - one player was thrown off the server because Discord said the player was suspected of being part of a terrorist organisation.) In order to join, I was required to first go on a tour with the server owner, also known as the 'king'. On the tour with me were two other newbies, all of us only in our underwear. It was a somewhat surreal experience. The king greeted us and showed us around his keep, which was full of useful communal facilities, and pointed us towards a plot of land where he was keen for us to build a village.

At the end of the tour, the king paused and asked us if we had any questions. "This may be a bit of a strange request," I typed. "But could I set up a Viking estate agency?"

The king paused for a moment. "That sounds like an excellent idea, Angelika."

And so I was given royal approval.

My first priority was to create an office where I could do business and meet clients before taking them on viewings. I selected a plot at the top of the main street and constructed a building that looked as blocky and LA as possible. I decorated the place with a seating area, desk, and even some listings on the wall with descriptions of each property. I named my agency Hutenheim Group as a nod to Selling Sunset's Oppenheim Group, which conveniently already has part of the game's name in it. This was truly meant to be.

The next step, of course, was actually creating a property portfolio. I tried, without success, to recruit other players as developers so that I could simply sell their houses. But with a high turnover of players on the server, I found it difficult to know who would actually stick around to complete the work. So until word spread about the brokerage, I would have to also take on the role of property developer.

To reduce the amount of time and resources required for each build, I decided to renovate ruins or abandoned player buildings. I also carefully considered who would want to buy each property, so my first build was targeted at new players who needed a place close to the keep. I ensured the property had key selling points that I could discuss at a viewing: I gave the building a cart house and connected it to the road, and even built a sea view balcony. To help market the house, I named it Aegir (after a personification of the sea in Norse mythology) and popped a 'for sale' sign out the front.

For the second property, I wanted to make something a little more high-value: a place that would appeal to experienced players who wanted a place out in the wilderness. I found a beautiful Black Forest area full of small islands, and converted an existing stone ruin into a hunting lodge, with the original stone column forming the central chimney. I gave it a massive fireplace, a 'pizza oven', an extravagant portal house and all the mod cons a Viking could need. For the sake of taking some nice photos, too, I gave the main bedroom a balcony overlooking the water. You may be sensing a theme here. I named this one Vidarr, another anglicised reference to an old Norse god.

Once both these properties had been completed, I spent a little time taking photos of their main features, before uploading them onto a custom website that I made for the agency. I gave each of the listings descriptions, and made photo galleries to allow players to take a close look at each property. I even wrote a little agent bio for my character, and some 'client quotes' to help instil confidence in prospective clients. Oh, and a custom logo that I managed to make in Inkscape in about five minutes. I will admit that I perhaps went a little overboard here, but I don't regret it: just look at this beauty.

The new website was an absolute triumph and I couldn't wait to share it with everyone, but things were about to take a very unexpected turn. Around the same time that I was finishing up my second property, a new player - who I will call Xavier - joined the Discord server. It didn't take him long to pipe up with a message about the agency. "I didn't know who was running the real estate agency so congratulations and well done on the job!" he said. A friendly opening message; he seemed nice enough.

But then Xavier started causing problems.

"My king, you should put a ward in any abandoned homes and when purchased you should deactivate said ward and allow the purchaser of the home to be allowed access," Xavier helpfully suggested. "In fact, any ward in-game should have the king's access - the king should not be restricted from any portion of his land."

A ward is a smallish stone statue that, when plonked down, emits an aura around an area, preventing other players building there or entering what is built there. It's a kind of magical barrier or lock, in other words.

What Xavier was proposing presented a problem to me, because if players could purchase old homes straight from the king, what need would there be for an estate agent like me? Royal access to each private property, too, felt like a huge overreach of power. I had to pipe up for the sake of free enterprise in the kingdom (and I was a little annoyed at Xavier for butting in on my business).

"I like the idea of signs outside abandoned homes, but if everything goes through the king then it would kill-off the estate agency," I replied. I managed to get everyone to agree to a compromise: players could sell their old abandoned homes directly to agents. Xavier even enthusiastically promised to help me build some free homes for new players. I asked him to message me once these were complete so I could list them on the website, and logged off for the evening.

Two days later, Xavier turned up in the Discord server and posted a property listing of his own.

"Homestead Island - Viking home with nine Rested Bonus Area, working fireplace with chimney and a balcony," he wrote. "Asking price: 6250 Gold."

Needless to say - having told him about my business, website and office - I was livid. Within the course of two days, he had gone from promising to work with me on a non-profit venture to becoming my main market competitor. "Did you want to list that property with Hutenheim Group? I can take photos for the website," I frantically replied, but I was ignored. I immediately hated Xavier with all my soul. Rather than confront him directly, though, I vowed to destroy him in the property market and then be fake-nice about it afterwards.

Now it was like Selling Sunset - for real.

I responded by upping my marketing game. I immediately posted my website in the Discord server and met each of Xavier's posts with an advert of my own. I then appealed to the king, explaining that my website had taken a lot of work and that I would greatly appreciate any assistance advertising it. King Jerome agreed, and I soon had an automated bot posting my listings every eight hours.

Xavier, meanwhile, was busy digging his own grave by listing his property at far too high a price. At this stage on the server, an economy had been established, with players able to cash-in items at the bank for gold. A bronze bar could be exchanged for 25 gold, for instance. Xavier calculated his listing as being worth an astronomical 6250 gold. My Aegir listing, in comparison, was listed at 250, and my lower price-point meant it would appeal to those newer to the server. I figured that at this stage, even the richest, most experienced players would be unwilling to pay 6000 gold for a small house. And frankly, what's the fun in running a property business if no-one's going to buy anything?

This decision paid off, and thanks to the sign I'd placed outside Aegir, I soon had two inquiries about the property. I was then able to arrange a viewing with a player called Al. I frantically gathered some wood and resin, and ran over to the property to light all the fires and torches - the place had to look its absolute best. I then returned to the office where I found the player waiting. I was nervous - this was my first time showing a property.

"Thanks so much for visiting the office, I'm excited to show you the house," I typed out. "As the property is so close, we can walk over there right now."

I guided him towards the house, making sure to stop as soon as the building came into view. "So here is our first view of the property," I began. "As you can see, it's fully connected by road, and only a short distance from the keep."

We approached the front of the house, where I made sure to mention the property's best features. "It comes with its very own cart house," I said. "Good for protecting your cart!"

"Ooh," said Al, running inside.

"There is a statement entrance into the main building," I continued. "It's a true bachelor pad - a workspace here with storage above, and a living area with a beautiful balcony."

Al seemed completely enamoured with the balcony and who could blame him? It overlooked the bay and was absolutely stunning in the late afternoon light. "Perfect for sipping beers," I added.

The viewing continued to go well and at the end of the tour, Al expressed an interest in buying Aegir. But there was a problem: he'd spent all his money that morning on a belt from the Trader, so I arranged a compromise, accepting 50 gold in cash along with a pile of animal pelts that I needed for my next property. Flexible payments would prove to be another winning formula for my business.

With that, my first sale was complete. I handed over the 'keys' by destroying the ward on the house and gave Al the materials so he could construct his own ward. I then giddily tottered back to the office to mark the property as 'sold'. One-nil Hutenheim Group.

I didn't want to stop there, though - I wanted this victory to be total. I continued renovating properties, managing to clear a draugr village of its residents and turning it into an island paradise - selling points included a throne room, glowing mushroom trees and a fishing pavilion.

After some further marketing in the Discord group, I had a player approach me who was interested in both listings but particularly liked the forest lodge, Vidarr. One quick viewing later and I had sold it, this time for 600 gold. I accepted a deposit of 300, and the player dropped the other 300 through my door later that evening. For each property sale I made sure everyone in-game and on Discord knew about it. "Congratulations to Hughe on the new house!" I wrote. "This marks the second sale for Hutenheim Group!"

Now trailing by two sales, Xavier seemed to be getting frantic. He started spamming the chat with adverts and kept posting work-in-progress pictures to hype his upcoming second property. And with some annoyance, I noticed he was starting to copy all of my business strategies. Just as I had done, he placed 'for sale' signs outside his buildings and injected some personality into his descriptions. Then, all of a sudden, he had a company name - and he managed to talk the king into giving him his own official advert. "DID you know there is MORE than one Real estate game in town?" read the post. "THAT is right Valhalla Villas Is here Helping you get started with that perfect little cabin on a lake, or Building that Dream mansion on the Mountain... we do it all."

Really getting into my role as a petty estate agent, I updated my own website. "Hutenheim Group is the dominant real estate brokerage in the kingdom," I declared - because it was true. "With more property sales than anyone else in the kingdom, Angelika's experience makes her the go-to person for Valheim real estate. Her unparalleled work ethic, honesty and integrity have been key to her success in business, and have made her a firm hit with clients." Checkmate, Xavier.

What Xavier didn't seem to realise was that he was still getting his prices wrong. He refused to back down on his high valuations, and as any estate agent will tell you, there's nothing worse than a stale property. You lose any potential buzz, people start to wonder what's wrong with it, and you might be forced to make reductions. Sure enough, Ocean Outlook has since been reduced from 6000 gold to 5500, and after several days of marketing, it still hasn't sold.

I, meanwhile, was starting to make a name for myself as the go-to person for real estate on the server. A player called Drake came bounding up to me in-game, offering to sell me an old abandoned property. It turned out to be a vast structure right next to the king's keep, and I bought the place for 150 gold.

Sensing that some of the king's new stewards would need a place nearby, and were also loaded, I remodelled the place as an expensive mead hall, complete with its own mead cave, and put it on the market for 1000 gold. I named it Beyla Hall. Minutes later, one of the high-ranking members of the kingdom asked for a viewing. The balcony, as usual, ended up becoming a key selling point, and I even gave the steward a taste of the hall's mead to seal the deal. "I want to put in an offer above the asking price - it's clear you've put a lot of work in here," he said. "1500 gold". It was music to my ears.

I had one final property to shift, however, and that was Svalinn Estate. The island property had been difficult to sell, possibly because players seemed to favour grand halls over quaint, small houses. In order to attract a buyer, I once again sought inspiration from Selling Sunset and decided to throw a party at the property. I themed it around midsummer and decorated the place with flags, flowers and an outdoor bar.

"Attention everyone!" I posted. "I am hosting an impromptu midsummer party in about 30 minutes. There will be free flower crowns, mead and snacks available. There will also be dancing around the maypole and a treasure hunt! Go to the Hutenheim Group office and take the portal, then follow the signs to the party."

It was a huge success - five players turned up as well as the king himself. I gave out free drinks, toasted the king and encouraged dancing around the maypole. I then had them all run around the island in search of hidden treasure chests with gold inside. I was still unable to find a buyer for the estate, despite my efforts, but I didn't go away empty handed: I was promoted to the title of Shield Maiden by the king for my services to the kingdom.

The party felt like a great way to conclude things and celebrate my success. Selling three out of four properties was a great final result. Xavier still hadn't sold a thing. And I had intended to rub his nose in it but I ended up feeling a little sorry for him. His insistence on high prices locked him out of some truly fun gameplay experiences. My own houses were probably undervalued but then I wasn't doing this for the sake of enormous profit margins. My priorities were role-playing and giving joy to others - I felt a huge sense of satisfaction each time I sold a house and knew someone would be living in it. And you can't really put a price on that.

So as the sun set on my own real estate adventure, I was on a high. Little did I know, however, that things were about to take a very drastic turn...

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Emma's Valheim estate agent adventure continues on Saturday (1st July) in part two, in which a king turns tyrant. This second part will only be available to Eurogamer supporters. Becoming a supporter is easy and costs £3/€3/$3 a month, but there's a free trial currently running you can make use of too!