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Not so much with the reading? Then scoot on off to Eurofiles where you can download a copy of the Destroy All Humans E3 trailer right now, courtesy of our friends at THQ. For more information on Eurofiles, clicketh here.

Jon Dowdeswell, Relic producer, is putting a brave face on the fact he flew in from Vancouver yesterday by enthusiastically building an Ork base at the Games Workshop HQ in Nottingham. He looks shagged. "Dawn of War is a battlefield RTS like you've never seen before," he rumbles. Ork stuff is deployed as if by magic and legions of green, warty men traipse over a hill, smack into a chapter of Space Marines. What happens next reminds you that Relic has a decent strategy reputation for a reason.

Both for newcomers and the initiated, I think it's worth taking a few moments to reiterate what the Warhammer 40,000 universe is all about. Bear with me. If we're exceedingly lucky, we'll chance upon a point.

Blinx 2: Masters Of Time will be part of Microsoft's Christmas Xbox line-up, the Redmond giant announced this morning, and purports to be the " world's first 5-D game, giving players control over both Time and Space". Bold claims indeed.

Adult gamers in Japan have a strong preference for Nintendo's DS over Sony's PSP, according to a new magazine survey - published as the Nintendo DS breaks the million unit sales mark in year to date sales.

Legend of Zelda producer Eiji Aonuma has spoken of the difficulty in using "realistic graphics" for the basis of the series' latest GameCube instalment, Twilight Princess, and explained why there will be no voiced dialogue in the game.

Valve's latest Steam news update bangs on once again about Half-Life 2: The Lost Coast, which aims to showcase the sort of high-end graphical techniques that we can expect from future Valve titles - including High Dynamic Range lighting.

The team behind multiplayer first-person shooter Battlefield 2, released in Europe last Friday, has increased the speed with which game results and stats are reflected on the web, a spokesperson told an online forum this week - to resounding approval.

In news that's sure to capture the attention of sexually repressed games journalists everywhere, Ubisoft has revealed that it's convinced UK glamour model Thekla Roth to appear in its forthcoming street racing combat game 187 Ride or Die for PS2 and Xbox.

The PlayStation 3 hardware used at E3 last month was running at only 75 per cent of the final system speed, according to reports which have emerged this week - confirming comments made by SCEE development boss Phil Harrison at the show.

Nintendo has announced plans for the Nintendo All Stars 05 Tour, set to take place at venues up and down the country throughout July and August.

Would anybody like to buy a brand new copy of Far Cry? I bought it the other day and those utter [impending lawsuits] at [online retailer X - two out of three monkeys prefer it to the leading brand] decided that I had ordered it twice. No it's not one of those funny situations where you get two and pay for one. It's one of those annoying situations where you get two and pay for both. So I've got a spare. Anybody? I can sign it. It won't be worth more, or more valuable to you, but untrained eyes will assume the signature has meaning and respect you for it.

Sony has launched a new video blogging website at PlayStationFreedom.co.uk.

Top quality old days gaming magazine Retro Gamer has announced plans to celebrate the 20th anniversary of actual old days gaming magazine Zzap!64 with a special tribute.

It's been the subject of intense speculation for a few days now, but an enlightening Gamespot interview with Oddworld Inhabitants' main man Lorne Lanning reveals the first nuggets of information about the game unofficially known as 'Stranger'.

Pro Evolution Soccer 4 is due out this autumn. That alone is about as likely to surprise fans of the series as another set of title graphics, but another aspect of today's announcement from Konami of Europe is something rather more exciting - it's due out on PS2, PC... and Xbox. Although Konami had previously announced plans to release PES on Xbox, the publisher has been cautious up to now not to associate the Microsoft version with the ongoing PS2 series.

Wayne Rooney. He's a bit good. And this from a Liverpool fan. It strikes us, sitting here in the dark, watching - one second - Wales and England Under-16s, and contemplating where to go with all this, that the irritatingly labelled Boy Wonder is as good a place to start as any. Rooney is a perfect example of the difference between Pro Evolution Soccer 4 and FIFA Football 2005. But how so, you say. The long and short of it is this: in FIFA, he plays for Man United, he wears the right squad number, his face is modelled on the real one, and he's pretty nippy and packs a wallop in the final third; in PES4, he's still at Everton, he's strong in the air and fast with a good first touch and a venomous shot, and while you can't tell him from Adam face to face, you can tell who it is when you see him move.

We like driving. Given the choice between walking to Somerfield and driving to Sainsbury's, we hop in the car. When our folks ask for PC tech support, we race 40 minutes up the motorway to hit Ctrl-Alt-Del. But driving has its drawbacks, and if you took away luxuries like adjustable seats and made us stop at every zebra crossing, roundabout and set of traffic lights between us and our destination, we'd be far less inclined to pull on our cap and gloves and take you for a spin. Particularly if we kept being cut up by some boy racer to whom none of the above seemed to apply.

Given that it's taken an extra month to make it to market, you could be forgiven for thinking that the PC version of this year's Pro Evolution Soccer 4 is, if not substantially, at least discernibly different to its PlayStation 2 counterpart, which deservedly rose to the top of the UK Charts on its release in the middle of last month. So, er, we'll have to forgive you, because apart from a few small points this is an almost pixel-for-pixel conversion of the console version. Newcomers? Read our PS2 review then return, and we'll get down to the issues that apply to PC gamers.

You can almost see the look of horror on the faces of Rockstar San Diego bigwigs when the Christmas 2003 charts flopped onto the doormat. "Like, crap, dude," said one, probably. "I'm pretty sure Need for Speed wasn't supposed to be this successful."

Lorne Lanning: "This is the first day that we're unveiling Stranger at all, so you guys are amongst the first people to see what we've been working on for the last two and a half years. I've got a lot to show you, so I'm going to jump right into it.

"Christ! It's just like The Shining!"

For reasons best known to Rockstar, it never allowed the press anywhere near GTA III or Vice City. With combined sales of well over 20 million units worldwide (mostly at full price, remember), it didn't exactly affect either game's popularity. Some might say the wall of silence actively encouraged the wildfire word of mouth that followed their respective releases. There was so much to see and do in both titles that each player's personal experiences sounded like the most outrageous movie scene ever. It was a game you had to own. These weren't games you could rent and take back - they took months to really get the most out of. Who needed the press when you had word of mouth?

Sometimes the last thing you want to do is have a sneak preview of a game - mostly you're just spoiling things for yourself, ruining the surprise, but, when you're talking about gaming royalty, things are a little different. When the name of that game is Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, suddenly your busy schedule opens up like Moses parting the Red Sea. 5 O' Clock Thursday you say? Right, we're there. Running late you say? Not a problem.

It's official - games will break your thumbs and turn you into a nutjob, according to new reports from a German scientist and a South African schoolgirl.

A group of high-definition TV fans have set up a new website campaigning against Nintendo's decision not to feature HD-TV support in the new Revolution console.

With the Xbox 360 hardware now laid bare for the whole world to see, attention is turning to the question of games.

Everyone knows the Sims story by now, and it's a familiar story that's been repeated many, many times. Boy buys game, boy plays game, boy thinks it's fun for a while but ultimately tires of it within days and craves a return to more manly pursuits involving aliens, nazis, car crashes and head-shooting. Girl sees boy playing game while he's neglecting her needs at that bloody computer. Girl is intrigued, girl surreptitiously tries out game. A fortnight later, boy is having to practically beg to be allowed to check his email just for five minutes, and is scanning the low-end PC market for a bargain in desperation.

In news that would have both Goscinny and Uderzo spinning in their graves if one of them wasn't dead, Atari have announced a new Asterix game that "will make interactive entertainment history as the first ever videogame parody." You can see some screenshots here.

The simplest things are often the most captivating. That moment in ICO when you first jumped a gap and Yorda leapt after you, grabbing your hand as she tumbled into the abyss. The first time you managed to rocket-jump in Quake. The first four-lines-tall group of blocks you cleared in Tetris. Too often we've had to forego the life-sapping pleasures of MMORPGs in the past because of time and resource constraints, but if we had to isolate one thing in particular about World of Warcraft that gave us the patience and commitment to continue, given the precedents above it probably wouldn't be too surprising to learn that it's one of the least interactive and most basic things you can do in Blizzard's world: grab a taxi ride.