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"If it's all the same to you, I'm glad I joined the f**king Air Force," says a man who just glibly told two teams of US infantry waltzing into Zekistan's capital, Zafarra, that the region they're about to occupy is 'US-friendly'. In an astonishing turn of events, he's completely wrong. Homer, Iron Man, Rabbit, Delta Boy, Bot, Nova and Crawdaddy are about to get shot at by Middle Eastern types with rocket grenades and AKs. And you are about to lay eyes on the most technically advanced, flag-waving war simulation ever made.

Although you still remain in the dark about Sly 2: Band of Thieves, now that we're aware of a sequel to Sucker Punch's depressingly under-appreciated platform thieve-'em-up - which proved that linear gameplay, heavily scripted abilities, basic sneak-'em-up antics and complex platform environments can deliver a rich and absorbing blend - we're actually poised, lurking in a perpetual state of alertness, ever capable of pouncing on the first scrap of info. Well, actually, with Kristan out of the country again this Tuesday, your portlier correspondent is in more of a state of constant glazed over-ness, ever capable of flopping in the general direction of any blatant outbursts from SCEA or Sucker Punch, flailing arms and hoping to suffocate spokespeople in flaps of... Ooh look, there's one right now! [Flop.]

The latest issue of US games magazine Game Informer has, well, informed us of some interesting new additions planned for the next instalment in Insomniac's critically acclaimed Ratchet & Clank series of platform games, which the developer recently confirmed has been dubbed "Up Your Arsenal" - at least in the States. Ooh they love their puns, that lot.

Given that we all bitch and moan about the number of unimaginative sequels and me-too titles filling up the shelves these days, a game like Death By Degrees seems like a healthy alternative. It's based on a well-known franchise, which ought to appease the bean-counting publishers, and yet it's been spun so far off its original axis that it's relying on cameos and adventurous cut sequences to keep the connection alive. Believe it or not, the girl in the shots is Nina Williams. Namco's Tekken some liberties...

Unveiled yesterday at a LucasArts press-entation in the heart of London, Mercenaries is one of many interesting projects currently underway at Pandemic Studios, and although we're beginning to detect a bit of cynicism for "GTA meets..." titles [no shit -readership], it's difficult to sound cynical about a game that offers as much destructive potential as this one, let alone a game built around the tagline, "If you can see it, you can steal it, use it, or blow it up."

For a company that has spent over a decade making games made in hell, to see Doom III apparently entering its own Hades - development hell - is a sad irony. Although Id wisely never promised us a release date, it was on Activision's release schedule for the end of this year for so long that it's clear that the powers that be hoped that Doom III was going to be almost in the can by now.

To the majority of people who played it, BioWare's Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic remains one of the finest - if not the finest - titles ever to grace Microsoft's big black box. And it's little wonder. Whereas George Lucas clearly had difficulties returning to his sci-fi franchise on the big screen, the veteran PC RPG developer delivered an epic journey more than worthy of taking place a long, long, long time ago in that infamous galaxy far, far away. It was a gripping adventure unique to every player, and Halo's irrepressible popularity notwithstanding, rose to the top of a lot of gamers' Top 10 Xbox lists shortly after its release.

Sometimes it's hard not to be paranoid. As blissful as we are in our ignorance, certain strangeness creeps up you until you can almost feels its breath on your neck. Is this the scary of coincidence born of the crazy dreams of an overactive imagination or did they really happen? Perhaps a mild addiction to Jarlsberg? Too much herbal relaxation? Could be. But exactly when did the furniture get rearranged? Where did weird wall stain come from? How come the door's covered in chains? They did warn us that chat rooms were full of dangerous weirdos, but how did they get our address? What is that noise? Can you smell something? What's that note? "Don't go out?" Well, it doesn't look as if we have a whole lot of choice right now.

When Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater took a bow at E3 last year, it wasn't quite the showstopper everyone expected. Although the PS2 specialist press wet themselves (bless), the rest of us were far more interested in some game being shown off on the other side of the LA Convention Center. Something to do with spindly legged aliens, or something; we've sort of forgotten about it. Anybody remember it? In light of such a dramatic upstaging though, at the time we remarked that MGS had lost some of its influence.

The unending quest to create the definitive World War II videogame shows no sign of abating, and why not? Despite what could be perceived as a breathtaking lack of imagination, developers are evidently raising their game and producing consistently excellent titles if the likes of Call Of Duty, Secret Weapons Over Normandy and Hidden & Dangerous II are anything to go by. And it's the latter title that bears the greatest similarity to Codemasters' latest signing from Russian publisher 1C Company, titled Soldiers: Heroes Of World War II, a "fast-paced tactical strategy game" that "plays out like a blockbuster war movie" and is due out exclusively on the PC in the summer.

Nottingham-based TimeSplitters developer Free Radical Design has officially unveiled its other project, the aptly named Second Sight, which we're told is now close to completion and should debut worldwide in late 2004 on PS2, Xbox and GameCube. You can see it for yourself thanks to these early screenshots.

When your parents come out with gems like 'the years go by so quick when you're old' it's not just because they're turning into senile doddering old cretins that rarely know what day it is anymore. It's true. In fact, it seems scarcely credible that it's nearly three years ago since Onimusha: Warlords bestrode the summit of the UK's game chart. No wonder time travel seems so appealing to the nefarious types in Capcom's latest attempt to bring feudal-era Japanese hackandslash to the masses - they're fed up with constantly being told how old they are, and want to nip back to their early 20s to recapture their glory years. Who can blame them?

Why do Vampires always hang around in sodding LA, and not, say, Nottingham? LA's permanently sunny and full of beach bums, while Nottingham's mainly damp, cold and grey and populated by three quarters of the world's Goth population. Obviously no one alerted Troika Games to this Vampiric contradiction, because it's only gone and set Vampire: The Masquerade: Bloodlines there.

With Need For Speed Underground racing ahead for its fourth straight week of chart domination, and Criterion's critically acclaimed Burnout series now lost to EA and their marketing gurus, Acclaim's street racing credentials were in danger of evaporating this week, and who could blame them for giving up? EA could market a flaming tyre to chart success these days, and now own the most successful street racing title of the Christmas period (with PGR2 way down the listing) and one of the most revered games in the genre. How to respond?

As forum dwelling types will already know, American magazine Game Informer is set to profile Resident Evil 4 extensively this month, blowing the head off the protective zombie of press embargoes and giving us an insight into one of the most eagerly awaited GameCube games of, well, for us lot, of 2005. And rip off my arms and munch on an elbow if it isn't an enticing prospect.

Although we're still waiting for confirmation of a couple of big publishers' E3 line-ups (come on Capcom! Eidos!), this week's official confirmation of Vivendi-Universal Games' line-up more or less completes the ensemble of major publishers, even if it doesn't harbour any surprises.

And the lists just keep on coming. This time its Sega, whose line-up consists of a lot of previously announced titles (including recent unveilings Sega SuperStars and OutRun 2) and a couple we were aware of but probably haven't written anything about yet (Otogi 2 and Sonic Mega Collection Plus - the latter being a collection of Sonic titles much like the Cube Mega Collection). There's also a PC port of Sonic Heroes, and some external projects like Sports Interactive pairing Football Manager 2005 and Eastside Hockey Manager, Warhammer Online and Team 17's Worms Forts Under Siege.

Codemasters blah blah latest publisher blah blah E3 line-up blah blah lots of games blah blah - wait, what's this? Apparently in a commendable attempt to deviate from the traditional formulaic approach to promoting titles at the world's biggest gaming trade show, Britsoft favourite Codemasters is planning a live webcam feed from the show floor, which should be available from www.codemasters.com/e3live from next Wednesday when the show starts, and offers a window to the publisher's games.

You'd think the folks at THQ needed some of us to buy its games. Not so, according to the company's E3 line-up, which loudly confesses to the publisher's secret desire to "Destroy All Humans!" Presumably not until after E3 however, where the title-we-just-made-a-crap-joke-about debuts alongside an EyeToy-enabled Nicktoons game, Full Spectrum Warrior, S.T.A.L.K.E.R, The Punisher, Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War and various other titles.

LucasArts has unveiled its E3 line-up for 2004, and as you might imagine what with Episode III about a year away, the Force is somewhat strong in this one. In fact, four of the five titles mentioned in this week's Lucasrelease are Star Wars-based, including the one we've all been waiting for, Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords, which will be officially unveiled at the show and should launch in the States next February on Xbox and PC. Then again, if you read our preview, you already knew that.

Tekken 5, Time Crisis: Crisis Zone, Ace Combat 5 and XenoSaga Episode II will be amongst the biggest hitters on Namco's E3 stand this year, the publisher announced today, along with the likes of Death by Degrees, Dead to Rights II and a clutch of RPGs.

Mario Sunshine co-director Yoshiaki Koizumi will be on hand at E3 this year to promote a new, as-yet-unannounced Nintendo title, according to reports originating with 1UP.com this week. Koizumi, a long-time servant of the Kyoto-based developer whose past credits include The Wind Waker and even Super Mario Kart (on which he was an illustrator), will reportedly be speaking to the press alongside Mario Sunshine assistant director Takao Shimizu, although we have no details on the product - or even which platforms it will be targeting.

War, superheroes and movie licenses - Activision's E3 line-up is a fair mix, and offers more for PC fans than a lot of its rivals seem to be laying on. DOOM III will of course make an appearance (both on PC and Xbox), and in the FPS stakes it's joined by the Call of Duty expansion pack United Offensive (in development at Gray Matter). Just as interesting though will be the sights of Rome: Total War and Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines, the latter of which is of course based on Valve's Source Engine technology.

For some reason we can't be bothered to go into, Konami's Tokyo (TYO) and Japan (JPN) studios have announced separate line-ups for this year's E3 trade show, which unite in a manner not unlike Devastator to stomp on their enemies and bring chaos and disorder to the planet.

With just over a week to go, Square-Enix has joined the growing ranks of publishers to announce a tentative line-up for the E3 trade show, and in addition to the likes of Final Fantasy XII (now due in 2005), Kingdom Hearts II and Front Mission 4, the Japanese developer/publisher is expected to make a couple of big announcements. So, we might as well start rumour-mongering before some of our competition gets in there - let's have Final Fantasy VII on the PSP for a start, a new Chrono title, and then how about a full-blown next-generation Mana game?

Half-Life 2 will appear at E3 in video form only for the second year running, publisher Vivendi-Universal Games has confirmed, extinguishing any last embers of hope that Valve's "summer 2004" target might mean a surprise pre-show release. (Which, let's face it, wasn't exactly likely in any event, whatever the fanboys thought.)

SNK Neo Geo USA is planning a big E3 showing this year including a number of new and previously unseen titles - and for the company's fans, it's difficult to know where exactly to begin. Beat-'em-up fans will want to celebrate the announcement of Samurai Shodown 5 and Samurai Shodown 5 Special for PS2 and Xbox (arcade versions of which will be playable alongside early PS2 code), but shoot-'em-up fans will be relishing the chance to go hands on with Metal Slug 3 on Xbox and Metal Slug Advance on Nintendo's GBA handheld.

Korean publisher NCsoft has joined the ranks of publishers currently announcing E3 line-ups, confirming a number of anticipated titles and announcing a couple of new projects, including a brand new Mad Max-style massively multiplayer near-future-car-combat-'em-up sort of thing.

Sony Computer Entertainment America has rather unexpectedly launched its official E3 website over the weekend, and in the process revealed rather more about the line-up than it had perhaps planned. Although the front page of the site and the game index lists only 21 titles (some old, some new), clicking through to a game and then changing the two-digit number on the end of the website address will take you to various pages the platform holder obviously hadn't planned to publicise just yet.

Half western, half horror title Darkwatch and TV show-based The Shield will be among the key titles on Sammy Studios' E3 stand this year, as the publisher shows off its biggest ever portfolio of games - including some from US-based internal development, and others courtesy of Sammy Japan's licensing efforts. Sure, it's not the sort of line-up that will have Electronic Arts quaking in its enormous boots, but it is well worth keeping an eye on.