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Imagine Thunderbirds crossed with The Thing. Or, buy World Championship Snooker 2003 and see it for yourselves! Honestly, we're not sure why the player animations are so hideous and why their faces look like paper plates with photographs Blu-Tacked on top, but if you're anything like us, first of all God help you, and second of all you'll probably spend a good few minutes staring open-mouthed in disgust at the game's least favourable aspect.

THQ has released a new five minute 66MB Stalker DivX trailer. Starting with real footage of Chernobyl, the camera zooms in on the power station and the footage artfully switches to in-game material. Unless you're looking for it, you won't notice the transition - this set us up to be awed by GSC Game World's incredible-looking engine.

Blizzard has patched WarCraft III with a small number of fixes which, if we're honest, mean absolutely nothing to us. These include Classic Campaign unit damage adjustments to bring values in line with version 1.01, custom map crash issues and text and hotkey issues in localised versions of the game. Oh, and an extra little something exclusively for Czech readers - we love ya - no more crashes when you display news items. Super. The patch will download when you start up Battle.net, but if you're scared of it or something then get your 3D Gamers on. It's all about options, see.

If you're a dedicated PC gamer, the chances are that you occasionally find yourself lusting after a top-end laptop - one capable not only of running 3D Mark 2003, but eclipsing 90 per cent of desktop machines while it's at it. Of course until recently, gaming on a laptop has been a bit of a joke, but with the advent of multi-gigahertz laptop processors, GeForce 2 Go, ATI Radeon Mobility chips and improved TFTs, it's become more of a reality. Maybe you'd only have to rob one bank and not two.

Max Payne modders hoping to extend their projects to the recently announced sequel will be pleased to hear that Remedy has their interests at heart. In an email posted on 3D Realms' website yesterday, the developer said that "the necessary tools to make custom user-made modifications to [Max Payne 2] will be released with the game as the PC version is released this Fall."

Yeah, we know Eurogamer should come with a "sponsored by EA" logo this week, but it's not our fault that the US behemoth happens to make the most commercially successful games in the business. Get over it.

Sega AM2 is definitely working on Shenmue III, according to reports. Speculation has surrounded the future of the series ever since the sequel was released on Dreamcast, with reports that Yu Suzuki had already written the script, and speculation that AM2 might instead release a DVD to finalise the story, but at the moment all we know is that the game is in development. No specifics of the storyline, platform or release date have been mentioned, but we should apparently know more in September.

Lara Croft's first PS2 outing continues to sell well, racking up a second week at number one last week, while Sony's quirky EyeToy is also proving a hit with consumers and holds on at number two.

Core Design's Development Director and MD Jeremy Heath-Smith, the chap who you all thought was a bit barking when he claimed Angel of Darkness was worth 10/10, has stepped down from the boards of both Eidos and Core Design with immediate effect, a very succinct stock exchange announcement tells us this morning. We're not sure if this means that he's left Core Design, but it seems unlikely given it's, er, his company. Apparently the Eidos board would like to express its gratitude, but Jeremy obviously didn't develop his ledge-swinging skills enough to make further progress. Eidos reportedly said, "I feel much stronger now..."

As reported yesterday, Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life for the GameCube has slipped in Japan for quality control reasons. This morning, EG has learned that A Wonderful Life and its GBA cousin Friends of Mineral Town will now be released in Europe on November 21st as a result. Still, that's only three weeks late, which is better than the usual GameCube Euro-slippage, eh?

Tomonobu Itagaki, head of Tecmo's Team Ninja, has given a couple of lengthy interviews with GMR, posted at Gamers.com, talking at length about DOA Online and Ninja Gaiden, and clearing up some of the confusion surrounding DOA4/Code Cronus, and Tecmo's sequel plans.

If someone had told us that Macworld 1999 would herald the launch of a game that would go on to spearhead Microsoft's push into the console games market, we would have demanded to know what they were drinking, and where the hell we could get some. And yet on July 21st, 1999, in front of a lot of very pretty but functionally incapable artists who believe Microsoft should be written with a dollar sign (only joking, Mac fellows!), Myth developer Bungie stood up and announced what would go on to become Halo: Combat Evolved, the most popular Xbox game there is, and one of the most talked about games in living memory. On Monday, Microsoft announced that Halo has sold more than three million copies worldwide.

For a console that's been firmly dead for over a decade, the humble Famicom (or Nintendo Entertainment System) has stolen a surprising number of headlines lately. First there was the news that from September Nintendo plans to stop building the infamous grey boxes, which brought games like Zelda and Mario Bros. into the home for the first time, and now there's quite a hullabaloo surrounding its 20th anniversary. Nintendo president Satoru Iwata is even defying company convention by stepping foot inside the Tokyo Game Show to deliver a keynote address called "Twenty Years After The Famicom".

Entertainment magazine Variety reported yesterday that Half-Life is being shopped around Hollywood as a potential movie project. Valve's Doug Lombardi has told Variety.com that "[Valve is] trying to build the context of the game, build something that extends the elements of the game," adding that the developer is "very particular about making sure it gets done the right way." Given the supreme secrecy that surrounded Half-Life 2 until just a few short months ago, that's hardly surprising.

Valve has made good on its promise to distribute Half-Life 2 media via content delivery system Steam, and has released a 70MB, high-resolution version of the infamous G-Man, showing off his subtle facial animation for the camera. The close-up, available through Steam and also via FilePlanet, is part of the extensive E3 presentation which you doubtless will have seen by now. If not, we suggest you start downloading it.

Lionhead supremo Peter Molyneux has hinted that Fable, the ambitious Xbox RPG in development at Lionhead satellite studio Big Blue Box, could be on its way to the PC. When asked by GamePro in a recent interview whether Fable will remain Xbox exclusive, Molyneux had replied that "we are thinking of possibly one other format, and it's not a console [smiles]. That's all I can say; you should be able to figure out what that is. But for the moment it's an Xbox exclusive." Obviously the implication is that a PC version is under consideration. Unless he meant Infinium's elusive Phantom - surely a fitting target for Lionhead's output?

Details of this years Tokyo Games Show have emerged from organisers CESA, and once again Nintendo is the only major Japanese publisher not exhibiting.

Version 2.0 of Steam, Valve's online content delivery thingy, has been released and is now subject to the widespread testing of hundreds of thousands of eager people who think that come September 30th a big button will light up saying "Half-Life 2". Or something.

Batman himself, Adam West, will lend his significant voice talent and massive media following to cel-shaded first person shooter XIII, Ubi Soft has announced, taking on the role of General Carrington. So will David Duchovny, famed for his role as that lecherous bloke in the Red Shoe Diaries. Dave's going to voice for the chap from the title, a secret agent with total amnesia accused of assassinating JFK by the FBI, assisted by Batman and "Major Jones", who will be voiced by popular songstress Eve.

Microsoft has sent out preliminary invites for its annual European Xbox event, promising "a fantastic setting, crucial Xbox announcements, and the hottest Xbox games in the world," and ordering us (well, Kristan, the bastard) to keep September 16th and 17th clear, and to have passports on hand for another trip to southern Europe. Last year's event took place in a theme park in Seville. Sniff. There's no word yet precisely (or even vaguely) what the Redmondster has planned, but we'd imagine they will shove Halo 2 down our throats whilst screaming "WOO!" Not that we mind, really. Oh, and there should be plenty of third parties hanging about as ever, hopefully including Activision and Vivendi, and, thus, Doom III and Half-Life 2 respectively...

According to a report at Polygon, Victor Interactive's Harvest Moon: Wonderful Life for GameCube has been delayed, and is now expected to appear in Japan on September 12th. Along with its GBA cousin Friends of Mineral Town, the Cube title had previously been scheduled for release on October 18th in the US and on October 31st in Europe via Ubi Soft, but that now seems less likely. According to Victor, the delay - the third this year - is down to lingering quality control issues.

Phantasy Star Online Episode III will link up with the Game Boy Advance, according to reports over the weekend. Although it's not yet clear how the handheld will be employed, Square Enix has already demonstrated how useful it can be in removing troublesome menu clutter in Final Fantasy.

After the heinous Tomorrow Never Dies, EA had to hide its shame by trying to ape Rare's classic GoldenEye instead, but its mass market manifesto meant it could never quite succeed in the FPS genre. After the lukewarm critical reception to its trio of lightweight first person shooters, the publisher has realised that another stab at a third person Bond might be the answer.

In its first major business strategy conference since the company was formed out of a merger earlier this year, Square Enix has announced ambitious plans to double its sales within a timescale of three to four years.

Midway has announced plans for a new game to be released in 2004 for "next- generation consoles" (Xbox, PlayStation 2 and possibly GameCube if they can be bothered) based on the hit animated series Justice League, which is in turn based on DC Comics' Justice League of America. The title features just about everyone's favourite super heroes - including the likes of Batman, Superman, The Flash, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, Hawkgirl and Martian Manhunter - working together to... well, you know... fight evil and stuff. Details on the type of game we can actually expect aren't at all clear at the moment, but an officially licensed Freedom Force-style RTS/RPG crossover would be lovely, thanks!

If the increase in quality from P.N.03 to Viewtiful Joe were to be considered a trend, then Killer 7, the next title due to issue forth from Capcom's little Cube division, will not only revolutionise videogames, but will probably cure AIDS, resurrect Elvis and forge interstellar trading links with aliens on Jupiter.

A few new details about Midway's first-person shooter project Area 51 have surfaced almost a year since we first wrote about it, and two years since it was first announced. The story sees protagonist Lt. Nick Cross stumble across some aliens on the job, before becoming infected with a "biological mutagen", which begins to transform him into an alien as well.

Blizzard regrouped a bit last week, "streamlining [Blizzard North] into one core group in order to focus their development efforts on one key project", and elevating lead programmer Rick Seis to the position of team lead. The move is in response to the high profile resignation of Blizzard North's three co-founders and outspoken vice president Bill Roper, who departed late last month to set up their own company.

A feature-length movie made up of scenes from Ion Storm's unsuccessful 2001 RPG Anachronox has made its way onto the web via Machinima.com. Machinima is a term meaning the art of film-making utilising scripting available in 3D game engines, and even has its own academy awards, which has recognised the apparent brilliance of cinematic director Jake Hughes' creation. You can read about the film and download each of its 13 sizeable parts here, which when glued together form a two and a half hour long feature. There are even future plans to release a DVD version with additional scenes and artwork.

Enemy Territory is a very popular place these days. So popular in fact, that you're being asked to help design more of it, using these handy editing tools. Just remember, you're on your own for this one. There may be a support forum, but it's absolutely unofficial. And that's official.