Mobile Games Roundup

Hysteria Project 1&2

• iPhone - £1.19
• iPad - £1.19
• Original Hysteria Project now free.

If you were fully conscious in the mid-1990s, you'll be aware of the uniform hatred among game critics for FMV-based games. [That's Full Motion Video, kids – Ed.] I rather liked the idea, but the results were almost always eye-bleedingly awful, and then everyone sensibly ran screaming from the idea.

It's with impeccable appropriateness, then, that the Hysteria Project games are devoted to running screaming from an axe-wielding hoodie. (He's probably just returning that Guitar Hero controller you lent him, but you're not taking any chances – especially as someone has taped your hands and feet together.)

Part one of Bulkypix's frantic tale quickly turns into Blair Witch meets Choose Your Own Adventure, with much of the game spent picking which forest path to leg it down, followed by panic-stricken trip-wire negotiation. You'll get an axe in the head a dozen times, but hey, it's free, lo-fi fun for half an hour.

The more ambitious sequel tries to up the stakes, with varying degrees of success. Rather than limiting itself to endless chase sequences and QTEs [that's Quick Time Events, acronym haters – Ed.], it mixes things up with a much greater emphasis on adventure-style puzzle solving alongside the frantic action.

Now and then you'll find yourself trapped in a room, but can now look around 360 degrees, and click on objects and the like. Sometimes you've barely any time to figure out what to do, while on other occasions it calms down enough to give you things to read, and even problems to solve in your own sweet time.

But then you'll encounter something utterly hateful, like the nigh-on-impossible, laser-dodging corridor chase, and be forced to indulge in prolonged primal scream therapy. If the point of these games is to inspire a state of violent mental agitation, then the Hysteria Project series is doing a fine job.

6/10

Parachute Panic

• Windows Phone 7 - £2.49 (free trial available)
• Previously released on iPhone/iPad (£1.19 + free Lite version available)

Stickmen are falling out of aeroplanes! Help them parachute to safety on passing boats! Die frequently because of passing storms/helicopters/sharks/aliens! Play it repeatedly in the vain hope of attaining a decent score!

Yes, it's another one of those games, designed to drive you half insane whenever you have a spare few minutes kicking around.

A big hit upon its iOS release a couple of years back, FDG Entertainment (like everyone else) has brought the whole show to the plush new world of WP7 – and you only have to pay slightly over double for it. We call it Microsoft's Achievement Tax.

Presented in that once-adorable doodle style, it's the kind of ultra-simple game you'll probably hate yourself for spending so much time on. Like Flight Control, it goes from being mindlessly easy to mercilessly evil in the blink of an eye, as every possible aerial hazard emerges to snuff out your hapless daredevils.

One minute you're gently wafting the wind to make sure they land safely, the next you're furiously battering choppers and UFOs into submission, wondering who's the evil one. Maybe the men jumping out of planes are Scientologists, off to impregnate our children. Maybe we should put the phone down and move onto something more constructive.

6/10