THQ to Destroy All Humans!

You'd think the folks at THQ needed some of us to buy its games. Not so, according to the company's E3 line-up, which loudly confesses to the publisher's secret desire to "Destroy All Humans!" Presumably not until after E3 however, where the title-we-just-made-a-crap-joke-about debuts alongside an EyeToy-enabled Nicktoons game, Full Spectrum Warrior, S.T.A.L.K.E.R, The Punisher, Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War and various other titles.

Since we know very little about Destroy All Humans, however, let's talk about that. For a start, it's another title from the increasingly busy Pandemic Studios (handlers of Mercenaries, Star Wars: Battlefront and Full Spectrum Warrior). For a middle, it's an open-ended game of earth invasion, in which you play an alien raining death upon humanity from his UFO, or landing and prowling around terrorising them in third-person. And for an end, it's promising to be laced humorous sci-fi related and conspiratorial in-jokes when it appears on PS2 and Xbox in early 2005. We'd call it Grand Theft UFO, but somebody beat us to it. Close Encounters of the Third-Person Kind? No?

Of course, PC fans won't be all that bothered about such silliness, preferring instead to get all serious and excited about S.T.A.L.K.E.R. (we now employ someone to hit the full stop key), Full Spectrum Warrior and Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War, the latter from THQ's newly acquired dev buddies Relic Entertainment. It'll be nice to see S.T.A.L.K.E.R. and Full Spectrum Warrior again though, and in the case of the latter we can always wander over to the inevitable US Army stand and ask them if it's realistic.

That's not all, either - Tak 2: Staff of Dreams will be there. Nope? Don't care about that? The Punisher, maybe. If the game's as dark as the film seems to be, we could be onto something with that one, but ultimately the child inside us can't wait to see slap Angelica in the Nicktoons EyeToy game and check out the latest Pixar spin-off The Incredibles. If it's anything like Finding Nemo, a younger relative might enjoy it. (Yeah, "a younger relative".)

THQ's E3 line-up, then (is on Booth/stand #1024, South Hall)

• Destroy All Humans! (PS2, Xbox)
• Full Spectrum Warrior (PC, Xbox)
• Nicktoons (PS2/EyeToy)
• S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl (PC)
• Tak 2: Staff of Dreams (PS2, Xbox, Cube)
• The Incredibles (PS2, Xbox, Cube, PC, GBA)
• The Punisher (PS2, Xbox)
• Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War (PC)
• WWE Day of Reckoning (Cube)