Reader Review of the Month - July
Duke, rally, wrestling, words.
You guys don't know how good you have it. In the dark days of summer, while us professional reviewers are opening dispiriting jiffy bags full of so-so movie licences and impenetrable Japanese strategy RPGs, you readers can choose to write reviews of whatever you damn well fancy.
And then you can post them on our website, whereupon we highlight the three we like best and pick a winner, the titular reader review of the month. (Pro tip: don't use the word "titular".)
In July, we were impressed by Mark1412's review of Sega Rally Online Arcade and Fayt's take on WWE All Stars. But the best of the best is:
xandaca's review of Duke Nukem Forever
An excerpt follows, but be sure to read the full thing - and, if you like it, check out the author's blog.
"Duke Nukem Forever is a game neither of its time, nor a time gone by. It's the quintessential middle-aged pretender, pathetically trying to cover up his irrelevance under a velour suit and toupé, forcing himself to ignore that he's not one of a kind because he's special, but because he's so painfully naff. The game's sole amusing joke is its title, the Forever trying to disguise intransigence as cool defiance when it doesn't even have the balls to grow up."
Reviews editor Oli Welsh, who feels writing about himself in the third person is a bit grandiose, spoke thusly from his mighty seat of judgement: "Mark1412 has shown an elegant and exciting turn of phrase two months in a row now - this boy can write - while Fayt's solid technical analysis of WWE All Stars shows good knowledge of the genre and subject matter, finding the serious heart of a silly game.
"To some extent a game like Duke Nukem Forever is a gift to reviewers - being that all too rare combination of bad and interesting. xandaca really makes the most of this opportunity in his insightful demolition of the game, not shying away from tackling trickier areas like its supposed irony and awful sexual politics, but doing due diligence on its shoddy quality too. Top stuff."
Nice one, xandaca. We'll send you a prize. Be sure to submit your own review if you want to wipe that smirk off his face.