Reader Reviews

Carmageddon/Splat Pack (PC)

by Peej

Have you ever been in a car with your dad/older brother/uncle and had them point at a pedestrian or old granny as they've limped across the zebra crossing in front of you and heard them say "That's 500 points right there" and not known what the hell they're going on about? Well it's just possible that they have some almost ingrained racial memory of a crumbly, low budget 70s gore flick called "Death Race 2000" and are quoting directly from it.

"Shut up you old git, and get to the point," I hear you say [Good hearing for an oldie! -Tom]. Well, Death Race 2000 is a film about future society gone wrong, heavily reliant on gory blood sports for entertainment (gotta be preferable to reality TV I suppose), the worst of which is the annual Death Race, a point-to-point road race between death-dealing drivers and their outlandish vehicles. It's one of those films you've probably heard a lot about but have never seen (as it's not one I've ever heard EG regulars mention in the frequent "top ten films in your collection" type polls which seem a staple diet of the forums). It's definitely worth tracking down (if only to cackle like a drain at one of Sylvester Stallone's first film roles as Machine Gun Joe Viterbo) and similarly so is the original Carmageddon, a game which intentionally apes the film in several ways (not least of which with some of the car designs).

British developers Stainless Games, based on the bonny Isle of Wight, penned the game. Possibly the mind-crushingly drab lifestyle on the island spurred them to produce a delicious cornucopia of violence, abject sickness and road-based mayhem which quite literally had Fleet Street's paragons of virtue foaming at the gash in disgust, forcing the game to be slightly censored (zombies and green blood substituted in for hapless pedestrians and lovely crimson go-juice). Thankfully the game was released to the adulation of several PC owners who'd never seen anything quite like it (and aside from console ports of the GTA series, have never quite seen anything as good since).

It's a driving game, but aside from a rudimentary "checkpoint" race system there is the opportunity to earn bonus points for doing other things. Naughty things. Disgusting things like running people over, zapping them with lightning bolts, doing ridiculously overblown stunts ("Cunning Stunt Bonus!") and wheel-spinning away leaving lovely blood trails behind your maniac motor (if you managed to download the "re-enable blood, re-insert pedestrians" patch).

For the time, and even by today's standards the game featured an absolutely fantastic physics engine and (almost faints) a brilliant damage model, which could reduce your shiny death machine to a pile of scrap in seconds (particularly if you were hit by that lunatic hillbilly driving a tow-truck in the game).

Vehicle design is completely over the top including, amongst other things, a very nice clone of Frankenstein's race car from "Death Race 2000" as well as Minis driven by Michael Caine look-alikes but armed with bloody great big spikes on the front (pedestrian kebabs anyone?), a monster truck 4x4, a slinky VW Beetle with some rather scary bumper hardware and my own personal favourite, a mad "mole" vehicle with a bloody great big screw-threaded drill head on the front and balloon tyres which pretty much marmalises anything in its path. Superb.

Single-player against AI games are satisfyingly lunatic with your opponents going all-out to destroy you, and even seemingly holding grudges against you if you dare to try and mash their vehicles. Deliciously you can actually write your competitor's vehicles off, putting them out of the race (of course they can do the same to you and if they do it's game over). I never did get the chance to play this multiplayer though so if anyone did and can fill me in on how it worked I'd be delighted to hear from you.

Track designs are pretty weird and wonderful with all the good old standards (ruined cityscapes, snow tracks, desert tracks etc) making an appearance but usually populated by hapless wandering pedestrians who are only too pleased to carry out detailed inspections of the underside of your car should you choose to plough into them. Satisfyingly you are not limited to sticking to the "track" like glue, and as long as you get through the checkpoints, you can pretty much work out your own route between them allowing for some crazy shortcuts which may or may not be a wise move.

Power-ups are also collectable allowing you to increase the grip on your tyres, give you turbo boosts, turn your car into a pogo-ing piece of crap etc. [Remember the Instant Handbrake? -Tom, smiling maniacally.] It doesn't end there either. As you earn more money you can upgrade your car, twiddling with its tyres and engine. Also writing off other competitors will allow you to use their cars in the next race should you so wish. Be warned, this is a lot more difficult than it sounds in some cases but with practice you'll be collecting the whole lot and enjoying their individual little quirks.

It's a fantastic game. I was more than saddened to hear several EG regulars bemoaning the fact that SCI was returning to the franchise. These moans were probably based on Carmageddon II (a poor sequel) and Carmageddon: The Death Race 2000 (History tells us that SCI missed out on the official film licence to a mystery buyer but just released the thing anyway!), both of which failed to improve upon the original nor do it any justice.