That Was The News: Part 2
More where that came from.
Meanwhile the launch of PSPgo pushed sales of Sony's handheld up by 120 per cent. October also saw the launch of the Sky Player on Xbox 360, to be followed swiftly by a crash landing.
Friend of Eurogamer Pat Garratt and his website, VG247.com, cleaned up at the Games Media Awards. Eurogamer took home Best Website for the third year running and lined it up with the other two so we could pretend we got as many trophies as Pat.
(Only) in America, Homeland Security began using the Wii to fight terrorists. Rumours Guantanamo Bay inmates are tortured by being forced to play Game Party for up to 14 hours a day are completely made up.
Last but not least, Bayonetta creator Hideki Kamiya broke with thousands of years of accepted wisdom by declaring it is a "huge mistake" to think "big breasts on women seem erotic". Who knew?
November
It seemed like every other headline mentioned Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 during November. There were complaints about the promo video featuring a homophobic slur, reports the game was being shipped out early, issues with dedicated servers for the PC version, questions in parliament over the level of violence - and that was before the game came out.
Vernon Kaye hosted the Leicester Square launch, which was attended by such luminaries as Dom Joly, Dexter Fletcher and a Black Eyed Pea. In the US and UK alone more than 4.7 million copies of MW2 were shifted in just one day, and the game smashed previous records set by Grand Theft Auto IV.
Some other things did happen during the month, not all of them cheery. EA shut down Pandemic Studios and Nokia sent N-Gage to the glue factory. Thousands of console modders had a little cry after Microsoft banned them from Xbox Live and wouldn't even say sorry.
In Unexpected Uses for Games Consoles news, the Navy began training sailors using PSPs while the FBI started catching paedophiles with PS3s. The Government also decided to recruit spies via Xbox Live . Everyone knows James Bond is a massive Achievement whore. And finally, President Obama praised the use of games as educational tools, demonstrating rampant fanboyism by referring to Sony as an "industry leader".
December
You mean you've forgotten it all already? More details of the PS3 magic wand emerged, with silver-haired EA boss John Riccitiello suggesting it's called "Gem". This made sense - after all, Gem is excitement, adventure, glamour and glitter, plus fashion and fame. (For the 98 per cent of readers who won't get that reference - truly, truly truly outrageous).
Even more exciting was the news you will be able to use the magic wands as maracas. Still no sign of that much longed-for sombrero peripheral though. Come on Sony, don't let us down.
In fact Riccitiello had quite a lot to say for himself this month, also declaring there are now a billion gamers in the world and complaining all those Modern Warfare games look the same to him. Next he'll be complaining about Activision coming over here and stealing all our positions as the world's number one third-party publisher hang on what?
Funny though, Riccitiello was curiously quiet on rumours about a new Tiger Woods game for the Wii where you use the remote to attack fire hydrants. Perhaps because they were made up for the sake of a stupid and obvious joke.
Fans of Mark Ecko and the utterly forgettable Getting Up: Contents Under Pressure must have been pleased to hear the fashion designer hasn't given up on games. Apparently he wanted to make one based on Shakespeare's Macbeth, which would have an emphasis on "cutting people's heads off". With that, and Dante's Inferno on the way, are games based on classic literature the future? Surely Pride and Prejudice: Lizzy Bennet's Puzzling Adventure would go down a storm with the DS demographic?
And finally finally finally finally, SEGA won its appeal against the ban on Aliens vs. Predator in Australia. Yep, slow news month.
Here's hoping things pick up in 2010, and there's a good chance they will - for the first time in living memory publishers have actually held back some promising titles for the early part of next year, rather than shoving them all out for Christmas. Bayonetta, Mass Effect 2, Blur, Heavy Rain, StarCraft II, BioShock 2, possibly even Gran Turismo 5... We've got all those to look forward to, not to mention Project Natal, the PS3 magic wand and the Vitality Sensor. Looks like 2010 could well be a very happy new year. Merry Christmas!