The British Army needs "binge gamers", "snow flakes" and "me me me millennials"
Medic!
How do you do, fellow kids? The British Army is on the hunt for fresh meat for the grinder, and "binge gamers" are in the firing line.
Not only that, our Army's after "snow flakes", "me me me millennials" and "phone zombies".
"Are you a binge gamer?" the British Army's new poster asks. "The Army needs you and your drive."
It's all part of a new recruitment campaign, called Your Army Needs You, which is designed to show the Army sees beyond labels and stereotypes in young people. Horrible hermit "binge gamers", for example, have drive underneath their sunshine-starved skin.
British Army Major General Paul Nanson said: "The Army sees people differently and we are proud to look beyond the stereotypes and spot the potential in young people, from compassion to self-belief. We understand the drive they have to succeed and recognise their need for a bigger sense of purpose in a job where they can do something meaningful."
The posters are an obvious spin on the famous Lord Kitchener-fronted recruitment posters used in 1914 to encourage people to fight in World War 1. Expect to see them on billboards and outdoor advertising around the UK.
There's even a series of YouTube videos, one of which shows a young chap frantically mashing a DualShock controller long into the night. The gamer dies then starts again, showing "stamina". This, it seems, will stand him in good stead for when he's in the Army and dies during a mission in real life.
The Army struggled for new recruits in 2018, apparently, so there's some pressure for this new campaign to pay off. I've got a feeling "me me me millennials" might be too busy killing for an avocado in their local farmer's market to kill someone in a war zone with a rifle, though.